Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The Grand Unified Theory of Oppression

No-one who has even a passing acquaintance with the Islamist mindset can be surprised by the choice of a nightclub for the location of last week's failed car bombing in Piccadilly. The freedom to live one's life as one chooses, rather than in accordance with the dictates of religion, is naturally going to lead to a degree of hedonism that some fanatics will find infuriating. There has already been another plot against a large London club, the Ministry of Sound, which was thwarted last year when the conspirators were taped by the authorities saying things like "no-one could turn round and say 'oh, they were innocent', those slags dancing around". Such charming fellows; and great with the ladies too, I'll bet.

Perhaps even more distressing than the inept bomb plots in the UK have been the responses recorded on online forums and discussion groups claiming that it was all staged by the British government, as a pretext for ushering in a new Fourth Reich (or whatever). I say that the comments are more distressing, because if successful the nightclub bomb would have killed perhaps a few dozen people; but if it turns out that large numbers of people in the West lack the basic will to correctly identify their enemies and resist them accordingly, our civilization as a whole is going to disappear, and many more people will die as a result. So where does this blind denial masquerading as smart cynicism come from? It doesn't help that in Britain, as in most Western countries, young people (especially university students) are educated to believe that the world's geopolitical situation and much of its history as well can be explained using something I call the Grand Unified Theory of Oppression.

The GUTO, in its simplest form, states that everything bad that happens on the planet is the fault of the West, or more specifically of the white man (who is taken as the West's standard- bearer). The world was an Edenic paradise until the advent of Western colonialism, after which warfare, poverty, and disease became as prevalent elsewhere as they had originally been in Europe; and to this day, the United States, Israel, and (to a varying extent) the European and anglophone democracies enjoy wealth solely on the basis of their ability to plunder the nations of the Third World, which are thrown into turmoil as a result. Don't believe me? Try thinking of any conflict or massacre or man- made disaster in the world over the past fifty years that has received wide coverage, and I guarantee you there is a popular explanation for it that faults the West and implicitly absolves the people who were actually involved -- and that this explanation is a mainstay of the public and post- secondary education systems in your country. Here are just a few of the most popular examples:

The Atomic Bomb on Japan. A pure act of racist American aggression, having nothing whatever to do with forcing the surrender of an intransigent power which had brutally subjugated half of Asia before dragging the US into war with an unprovoked attack on its territory. (Bonus: the US "knew" that the bomb was unnecessary, but dropped it anyway to scare the Soviets and wipe out a few more gooks.)

Vietnam. French and, later, American aggression against a people merely struggling for "self- determination". --Luckily in this case the Westerners were defeated, so that Vietnam was in the end able to determine for itself a decades- long Communist dictatorship and the expulsion of about a million refugees.

Khmer Rouge Genocide. America's fault for chasing the Viet Cong into Cambodia (if indeed the genocide happened at all -- the Chomskyites beg to differ.)

The Iranian theocracy. America's fault for propping up the Shah. Consequently the Iranians had no choice but to start stoning rape victims for adultery, to sponsor terrorism throughout the world, and to begin work on a nuclear programme aimed at the elimination of a neighbouring state.

Taliban rule in Afghanistan. America's fault, because the US armed the insurgents against the Soviets (whose invasion of Afghanistan was also the West's fault, because we had set a bad precedent in Vietnam or something.) Resisting the Taliban is a violation of Afghan sovereignty, and even if they did sponsor Al-Qaeda and the attacks of 9/11, who can blame them? It's all just payback for those redcoats on the Khyber Pass during the reign of Queen Victoria.

The Rwandan Genocide. Belgium's fault for having favoured one ethnic group over the other about a hundred years ago. Why, it's as if the Belgians wielded the machetes themselves...

Anything China Does is our fault because made them "lose face" during the Opium War. If they want to grab Tibet or Taiwan, it's only because we made them so touchy.

The Balkan War. Germany's fault for recognizing Croatia too early. Also the West's fault as a whole for hastening the fall of Communism and, later, for taking sides with the Muslims (!) over the downtrodden, innocent Serbs.

Iraq. Sectarian violence there is America's fault. Muslim- on- Muslim murders are counted as "deaths caused by the US invasion." (After all, any other country invaded by Americans would experience the same degree of bloody fratricidal strife, right? If the US invaded Canada, I'm sure the anglophones and francophones would start tearing each other apart in exactly the same manner.) As for Saddam Hussein, America is to blame both for supporting him and for removing him from power.

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict. A no-brainer. Israel is a "colony" (though not of any country in particular) made up of "settlers" (half of whom, curiously, are indigeneous to the area) fleeing a genocide that took place in the West (or perhaps didn't, allowing for the tendency of Jews to exaggerate to their own advantage.) Having stolen "Palestine" (itself a colonial fabrication) the Israelis can be faulted for wishing to use actual force to defend their state from destruction; this defence is also the cause of Islamic terror attacks on the West, or at least the ones we admit to be genuine and not "inside jobs" perpetrated by the government.

As you can see, it's laughably easy to explain everything that happens on Earth using the Grand Unified Theory of Oppression. And remember that the GUTO has a corollary: if the West has the ultimate moral responsibility for everything bad that happens, non- Westerners (or non- whites living in the West) bear none of that responsibility. So when bad things happen that appear to be the fault of non- Westerners, such as terrorist attacks in New York and London, they are really the work of the governments in those countries; but even if they could be proven to be the work of Islamic extremists, that too would be the fault of the West for making the Muslims upset. The Grand Unified Theory of Oppression is nothing if not perfectly airtight.

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